


Suddenly: Lips

by TheDaintiestThing



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 02:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7135463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDaintiestThing/pseuds/TheDaintiestThing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of careful balancing<br/>The line suddenly crossed</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly: Lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elle_m](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_m/gifts).



> This is for elle_m, for being a fantastic friend and a marvelous companion when it comes to screaming about johnlock :)

Suddenly: lips. 

Under mine, over mine. Moving.  
John. John’s lips. I’ve seen them, thousands of times.  
Eating.  
Brushing his teeth.  
Smiling, laughing, never crying.  
Only ever heard him. After nightmares, in his room, above me.  
Have seen John’s lips on other lips. Never on mine.  
Thin, warm, wet, so soft. Moving.  
Think my lips are moving too. Hope they are.

Cheek against my nose. Slight stubble. Sixteen hours since he last shaved.  
His smell closer than ever. Stronger. John. Home.

A hitch of breath, a whimper. His? Mine?  
I think his. Probably both. 

My world is swaying.  
No, we are swaying. Not rhythmically, out of balance: dangerous. After years of careful balancing  
the line suddenly crossed.  
A small step? A huge momentum.

Need to steady us.  
Wall.  
I know how to lead people without them registering it. Handy on cases. Essential now.  
Everything I’ve learned, everything I’ve done in my life: for this moment. Leading up to it.  
Preparing without knowing what I was preparing for. But: inevitable. Makes sense now.

Make sure John’s head doesn’t hit the wall. Stable now.  
For now. Future currently not quite calculable.  
Breathing in, breathing out.  
My lips over his, barely touching now. Breaths touching, breathing each other, filling each other.  
Beautiful. To be full of John.  
Smell: John.  
Feel: John.  
Hear: John (out of breath).  
Taste: John. 

Adding: vision.  
Find him looking up at me. Unguarded. Finally. Pain, hurt, longing. Years of suffering. All there.  
So deep, blue. So blue. Finally I can see. Am allowed to see.  
John. 

Expression changing.  
Dawning realisation. Beautiful process.  
Eyes widening slightly. Quick intake of breath (feel it). Corners of his mouth raising. Eyes crinkling.  
He’s shining. Radiating light. So bright. Could watch it forever.  
Will. If he lets me. 

Thumb on my cheek. Wet. Oh. Crying?  
And smiling. Should be contradictory. Isn’t.  
Chaos in our carefully established order. Mayhem.  
No rules: no wrongs. Free.

Tear gone, thumb stays.  
Often been there. Never like this. Caressing. Worshipping.  
My heart is bursting. Figure of speech. Understand now.  
Heartbeat fast, still. Breathing hard, too. Exertion. Exhaustion.  
Knees weak.  
Figure of speech, but true. 

His arms around me, catching me. Cling onto him. Need to hold on. Anchor.  
Free falling, but he’s holding me. Always, grounding me. 

Breathe him in.  
Beautiful. Surrounding him, surrounded by him. Want to stay like this.  
Want this to happen again and again and again.  
Explore the disorder. Our chaos. The beautiful mess we made.  
Revel in it. Just him. And me.  
Never tire. 

Always: my John.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I will orphan this work soon for privacy reasons. Don't hesitate to leave a comment anyway, if you want- I will see them! :)


End file.
